Words have always been my safe haven. From an early age I have found what my soul needed to escape the miseries that are around us. If it wasn’t for words, I don’t know how I would’ve survived my thoughts all those years. When writing, the world stops spinning and I’m in that perfect place. Writing is my source of happiness.
I’ve always known that life is not always about happiness and that it is not perfect. In life, both good and bad can happen, joy and sadness exist. Life won’t be complete if there is only the bad set or only the good set of things, all these together are what make life. And in order to be able to live is to find a balance and to expect that anything is likely to happen.
Growing up and up to now, I’m grateful with the life I have. I have most of the things that I’ve always wanted. Anything to make someone happy. And I’ve always tried to find the light in the darkest of the times, or to be that light during dark times. But of course, I’m also a human and can’t always be happy and neglect my other emotions. At sad times, I give myself time to grieve, when tired, I take breaks, when feeling to be away, I keep distance and so on based on my needs.
But recently something changed! A virus named Corona spread around the globe and the world as we know it has turned upside down. At first, I kept myself calm by reading the facts about it and how best to deal with it. But as things rose to be more serious, humans freaked out. We started to act based on our instincts and weird behaviors started to happen. Hand sanitizers no longer existed in some parts of the world. And lockdown in many countries drove people crazy and they started to stock on food and people fought on toilet paper. It has been crazy ever since. I thought that it was okay because it was something unexpected so it was expected that humans behave in unexpected ways.
I tried avoiding news, because I know how I react with specific things and it was better to stay away from it. Another thing that started to trend was human stupidity. Many people started claiming things and said all kinds of stuff! This bugged me a lot but I tried my best to get over that and it worked. After getting used to the killer virus, human behavior, and stupidity, something else started again, racism!
I don’t get what made white people the kings of the world! I mean just because you have a lighter skin color doesn’t make you a better person! And then despite everything else, protests started. What made me lose it was that many people went to protest to steal, break, fight, and do all the illegal shit just because they had a chance!
With all these things happening, I tried to see the bright side. Luckily, there are many good people out there who try to raise awareness, donate, let the rest of the world know that there are serious problems that we don’t know about. Yet still, this hasn’t been enough for me. I just feel tired of trying to see the bright side, I’ve had enough with humans and stupidity. I’m not saying that I’m a know it all person, but at least I haven’t given made up statements.
The past few days have been rough. I don’t have the energy to see the good and find that light anymore. It’s like the bad things in the world have finally gotten me and put out my light and positivity. I don’t wanna be among people who kill because of race. I don’t wanna be somewhere where people are selfish and fight on toilet paper or buy everything that can last them for months without thinking that someone else can’t find something when they come shopping.
I literally have had enough! As I said before, writing is my safe haven and that it has helped me survive, but even poetry has been away from me the past few months. I can simply say that I’m sad now and the happy me is only on the outside. Let’s hope it won’t last long because I miss the happy me.
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