I Can’t Be the Only One…

I can’t be the only one who feels like this. Like there are different emotions emerging at the same time. Like sensing the existence of happiness and sadness together. I mean there are so many people out there in the world and there must be at least someone who understands how it is to feel very opposite feelings all at once. Like I can laugh the loudest on my depressing days. How is that possible? I have no idea. How can I be entertained by something when there is a burning sensation to shed tears. For example, I’m very stressed now, however I’m drinking my coffee and typing very calmly at the same time. It is extremely difficult to explain and it seems like words are failing me. I can speak different languages, yet all of them combined together aren’t enough for me to say how I feel. I still haven’t stumbled upon words that can explain my thoughts and my sentiments. As if all these words are limited to explain the complexity of my emotions, of human emotions.

I can’t be the only one who sometimes feels like they can feel all the sadness that is in the world. There are times when I sit down and feel sad that there are people in the world who don’t have anything to eat, that there are people who are facing mistreatment, or that there are so many animals that feel hungry at the very moment of writing this. It saddens me that a lot of people don’t care enough about the environment and continue on producing more trash and more pollutants. Oftentimes, these thoughts consume me. As Gandhi once said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” And I’m well aware that it’s not possible for one individual to carry all this on their shoulders or be able to fix everything that is not right. Although I try to do as much as I can, deep down I know that it’s a small portion. Like leaving food for the stray cats so they can eat it later on, putting water for birds on hot summer days, or just being there to listen to those who need to vent, in hopes that I can give them some peace. Or try to raise awareness about different things that can be fixed by individuals. However, in all this, what warms my heart is when I see people who try their best to do good in the world and it restores my faith in humanity.

I can’t be the only one who doesn’t like reading self-help books. Those books that are flooding with positivity. The ones that tell you to be strong and keep on going and that you’ll reach all your dreams over and over and over again. Like it’s okay to motivate people through words, but when I read the same idea with different words in a hundred or so page book, I get bored. Like the whole idea of self-help books can be summarized in a few pages, and could be even more beneficial than repeating the same thing. Also, I’d like to know that it’s okay not to be strong all the time, that it’s okay if I don’t reach all the goals I set for myself before I’m a certain age, that I can fail and feel depressed about it; be more realistic.

I can’t be the only one who doesn’t like the idea of leaving planet earth and setting off to live on Mars or another uninhabitable planet. Don’t get me wrong. I love science and exploring new stuff. I’m very interested in astrophysics and everything that is related to outer space. I also am very amazed by the vastness of the universe and feel a bit upset that we can’t (at least for now) unravel all the secrets of the cosmos. Having colonies on other planets and being a multiplanetary species is a very interesting idea and could help us reach more potentials regarding space exploration. But the idea of choosing to go and inhabit another planet and let the earth die is a bit out of place. Or think that earth can no longer be suitable for living and we should go elsewhere. We shouldn’t treat it like it’s already gone and beyond repair. I know that over the past years we humans messed up so badly, but earth isn’t dead yet. Instead of spending all this money on turning another planet into our next home, how about we spend half of these resources on our own planet? Earth is beautiful. We have forests, beaches, oceans, mountains, the poles, deserts, etc. we don’t have these on planets nearby. So why not fix what we already have and preserve it?