The last days of the year pass quickly, and I am enjoying the calming days of winter break. Away from the chaos and stress, recharging my soul before going back to work in the new year.
As I sit down on my bean bag, I’m facing the window and looking at the dark clouds while the other side of the sky is somehow sunny. I am mesmerized by this beauty while being all cozy with a hot cup of cacao drink and covering my legs with my Harry Potter blanket. All while I’m being lost in my thoughts, like always. The most frustrating part is that the thoughts that dwell in my brain come with a lot of questions that are either too philosophical or questions with no answers at all. Sometimes I spend a long time drowning in these questions, and other times I calmly co-exist with them and accept that I might never know the answers to them.
This year was the year I entered my 30s; hence, my outlook and priorities have also changed a lot on different topics. Things that I thought highly of no longer matter to me. Now, what matters most to me is having a quiet, peaceful life. Although I do consider that I have a peaceful life, it is far from quiet. Spending 8–9 hours per day being a teacher doesn’t allow for a lot of quiet moments. I have been feeling overstimulated much more than I did years before. This overstimulation has had its effects on my daily life overall. One of the biggest changes I felt is my lack of writing. Ever since I started my studies, I slowly started to write less, and being in a cycle where I feel overstimulated for long periods of time has put my creativity in a dormant state. I miss writing a lot, and I hope that one day I can get back to it the way I did before.
With all the stress, chaos, and thinking, I need to find a way to cope and bring my life back on track the way I used to. Before, it was easier because I had fewer responsibilities in both the personal and professional aspects of my life. The good thing is I know what I want to do; the challenging thing is to find a way to do it effectively. However, I’m not worried about it because I know myself. Although I procrastinate sometimes, I prefer being productive, as seeing the results of my work satisfies me.
Whenever we see something about ourselves that isn’t positive, it’s important for us to work on it and try our best to turn it into something better. I’m not saying changing our personalities entirely, but addressing things that might be red flags. Hence, this blog post is for myself, to remember all that I have been through, both the good and the bad, and take from all these experiences and try to become a better version of myself. I believe that humans should consistently try to improve themselves. It’s also a reminder of the goals I haven’t achieved yet and to try to slowly work on them.
I have already set some goals for myself for the new year, and my next step is to plan how to achieve them. Maybe I will talk about some of the plans in my future blog posts, along with my strategy on how to achieve them.
And for now, I wish everyone a very happy new year. May this year you try your best and your efforts don’t go to waste.
P.S. The featured image used in that post is not my own work, it’s from Canva.
Dlvan's Thoughts 
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